Maria Jean Cox

Maria Jean Cox (nee McFarlane)
Sunrise: 2nd May 1954
Sunset: 9th August 2008
Aged: 54
London

Its hard to put things into words on here but I need to tell everyone what a wonderful and amazing person my mum was! If I could sum my mum up in one word it would be infectious! Everyone who met her never forgot her and thats how she would want to be remembered. She was the life and soul of any party and you hardly ever saw her sad! She was always soo happy, smiley and full of life! She is a true inspiration to me and anyone who knew her :o)

------♥♥------Put This
----♥♥-♥♥--- -On Your
---♥♥---♥♥-- -profile If
---♥♥---♥♥-- -You Know
---♥♥---♥♥-- -Someone
----♥♥-♥♥--- -Who Died
-----♥♥♥------ Of
----♥♥-♥♥--- -cancer And
---♥♥---♥♥-- --You Love
--♥♥-----♥♥- --Very Much

My mum's story........

Mums life was never easy, even before she was diagnosed with malignant breast cancer in July 2005. She had found a lump under her left breast and went to the doctors to find out what it was. Her partner at the time told her its probably a cyst but my mum knew it wasn't. She was then living in Bournemouth but I made sure she came home to undergo her treatment and to be with her family.

September 2005 she went into hospital to have her operation, she had the lump removed and the lympth nodes from under her arm. They removed 32 of the lympth nodes and found three to be stage 3 cancer. She under went gruelling chemotherapy, which I am proud to say she managed to do on her own. The one thing that bothered my mum through all her treatment was her losing her hair.... All through her treatment, she still managed to smile and always say "i'm alright". Once her chemotherapy was over she under went radiotheraphy and went into remission. My mum had to take adcal for her calcium and aremidex for prevention of the breast cancer returning for 5 years.

With my mum being in London for her treatment etc her boyfriend Danny was back in Bournemouth. He was taken ill suddenly and sadly passed away on the 2nd August 2006, my mum was back in Bournemouth with him. My mum was never the same after she lost Danny her soul mate.

A few months ago, I had noticed a change in my mum, she wasn't the same smiley, happy go lucky woman who I had the honour of calling mum. She had changed, no more smiles, if she smiled it seemed a struggle for her, popping round for a cuppa was something that happened rarely as before it was always happening. I had noticed that her weight had dropped dramatically and she kept complaining of back ache, she thought it was the matress on her bed but I wasn't soo sure. On Monday the 28th July 2008 my mum decided that she wanted to stay round with me for the night, she phoned me to ask me to meet her as she was struggling to walk. I met her and helped her home which was hard to see as she could hardly walk and she needed to stop for breath on every floor in my block but even though she was struggling she was determined to get to my flat and I believe stay with me. I was soo worried that I phoned NHS direct for some advice as my mum didn't want me to phone the hospital because "they would keep her in" . I was advised to phone our GP the next morning to make her an appointment so I did. She had an appointment on the 31st July 2008. Our doctor saw her and sent her straight to the nurse for blood tests but couldn't get no blood. My aunt Gill was in the GP's and said she would go with her to St Thomas's so she could have her blood taken.

My mum and Gill went to the hospital on the Friday, my mum had her bloods done, and our GP phoned the hospital for her results that afternoon. He discovered that there was abnormalities in her liver and bones. So he referred her to Guys Hospital to see a consultant on Tuesday 5th August 2008. My mum come and stayed with me on the 4th August 2008 and we spent some time together.

Tuesday 5th August 2008 Gill took my mum up to Guys to see the consultant, her appointment was at 11.30 and she was seen at 2.20. The consultant and his team was not happy at the way my mum was looking and her blood results so they got her a bed to stay... Her breathing was really bad so they placed my mum wiv oxygen up her nose to help her breath. They was rushing around to try and find things out. She had to have 2 xrays, CT Scan and Bone Scan. On Thursday 7th August 2008 the doctor came to see mum with her results and thats when she told us that the cancer had returned but was in her liver, lung, lympth nodes in her chest and bones. Her kidneys were also not working! My mum was devastated as was I! The doc said she had a chest infection and thats why she was struggling to breath, also there was fluid around her lungs and heart. This was all too much to take in! She said mum would need Chemotherapy again and all mum was worried about was losing her hair, bless her.

Thursday 7th August 2008 My son Charlie who is 10 came home from a holiday in Oxford visiting family so I had to explain to him what was going on. He decided that he wanted to go up the hospital to see his nan so I took him on Friday 8th August 2008. He asked if he could get her some flowers so he picked her a bunch of pink lillies and wanted to give them to her, she adored them... He sat on the bed with her and she told him how much she loved him...

I decided that I wanted to stay with her that night, I dunno what made me stay there but something told me I needed to. The staff were ever soo helpful and friendly and got me a bed to sleep next to her. All night the nurses were back n forth checking on her, she had deteriorated over night. The next morning, 9th August 2008 they tried to give her an oxygen mask but my mum was claustophobic and kept trying to pull it off, can't blame her really! A doctor came to see me and my uncle and took us into a room, explained that she had deteriorated over night and they wanted ICU to come and see if there is anything they could do.

The consultant from ICU came to see my mum, examined my mum and took me, Gill and my uncle John into a side room. OMG that was when my world fell apart!
He explained that my mums kidneys had failed and that the cancer had now spread to the lining of her heart, what more would she have to cope with? He told us that he could help get her kidneys working but would have to put a tube in her neck and she would possibly pull it out as she was soo aggitated, she kept pulling the oxygen tubes out of her nose. He said she woould die on a life support machine and she had a few hours maybe the day! I couldn't believe it, I made the decision that she would not want tubes sticking out of her and would like to die with dignity! I asked them to get her comfortable and make sure she wasn't in any pain!

It was my nan's 82nd Birthday on Saturday 9th August 2008! What the hell was going on? All her family came to see her and I am grateful that she knew who everyone was! All she kept saying was "i'm alright" which is what she always said all her life! She opened her eyes at one point and I asked her who I was, she said "your my daughter" and thats the last words she spoke to me....

I decided in the afternoon that I was soo tired I needed to go home, I really didn't wanna leave my mum but I know mentally I couldn't have handled watching her take her last breath! I told her that I loved her and Charlie loved her and left! She fought all day and passed away at 8.20pm on Saturday 9th August 2008 with her brothers John, Andrew, Jamie and her best friend Christine with her!

I wanted people to know what a wonderful, amazing, strong and infectious woman I had as my mother for 28 wonderful years! I love you mum and I am sooo proud of you for how you fought to live!

I am still in shock, I can't believe how quick you were taken from us! Its soo hard to understand but I guess I never will understand the whys!

xxxxxxxxxxxx